Who Didn’t See This Coming?

George Clooney and Stacy Kiebler are rumored to be breaking up real soon.

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An “insider” says, “they have little in common.” LOL! Really? Come on people, you can’t make it more exciting or exaggerated? Another “source” says, “she likes to go out and have fun. She’s been feeling the age difference.” BORING! Dang! These explanations are a yawn-fest! We all knew this was coming but you couldn’t spin something more juicy??

Seth McFarland Most Offensive Oscar Jokes Transcribed

Thanks to NYMag for transcribing some of Seth McFarland’s low-lights from this year’s Academy Awards broadcast. At one point he calls Jennifer Aniston a stripper and proceeds to mention every movie female attendees had showed their boobs in…

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Singing about seeing actress’ boobs:

We saw your boobs in the movie that’s what we saw we saw your boobs. Meryl Streep we saw them in “Silkwood” and Naomi Watts in “Mulholland Drive” and Angelina we saw them in “Gia.” Anne Hathaway we saw them in “Brokeback Mountain.” And Halle Berry in “Monster’s Ball.” Nicole Kidman in “Eyes Wide Shut” and Marisa Tomei but not Jennifer Lawrence’s at all. We saw your boobs. We saw your boobs. Kristen Stewart we saw them “On the Road” and we saw Charlize Theron’s. Helen Hunt we saw them in “The Sessions.” Scarlett Johansson we saw them on our phones. Jessica Chastain we saw your boobs in “Lawless.” Hilary Swank and Kate Winslet in “Heavenly Creatures” and “Hamlet” and “Titanic” and whatever you’re in right now we saw your boobs. Ladies and gentlemen, the gay men’s chorus of Los Angeles. We saw your boobs we saw your boobs, boobs. We saw your boobs, we saw your boobs.

Calling Jennifer Aniston a stripper:

Our next two presenters, at least one is honest about being a former exotic dancer. Please welcome Channing Tatum and Jennifer Aniston.

Ridiculing the Kardashians for having “dark facial hair.” (I thought we learned from Keeping Up that Kim et. al. have no body hair whatsoever?)

This man has gone from starring in “Gigli” to becoming one of the most respected filmmakers of this generation. I feel like we’re six months away from having to call him le Benjamin Affleck. I thought we’d cut this joke but really, want to do it? First time I saw him with all that dark facial hair I thought, my god, the Kardashians have finally made the jump to film.

Joking about Chris Brown beating Rihanna:

This is the story of a man fighting to get back his woman who has been subjected to unthinkable violence or as Chris Brown and Rihanna call it, a date movie. Oh. Oh, no. No, that’s what we were afraid he would do.

Joking about Quvenzhane Wallis hooking up with George Clooney:

So let me just address those of you up for an award, so you got nominated for an oscar, something a 9-year-old could do! She’s adorable, Quvenzhane. She said to me backstage. “I really hope I don’t lose to that old lady, Jennifer Lawrence.” To give you an idea how young she is it’ll be 16 years before she’s too old for Clooney.

Zero Dark Thirty is about… nags? Psycho ex-girlfriends?

And how great was Jessica Chastain in “Zero Dark Thirty”? Yeah. Playing a woman who spends almost 12 years tracking Osama Bin Laden. Twelve years. The film was a triumph and also a celebration of every woman’s innate ability to never ever let anything go.

 
I think the show was totally disjointed from start to finish! But that’s just me! How do you think it all went down? Please comment and let me know!

George Clooney Blames Tequila For Dating Cindy Crawford

George Clooney and his best friend, who just happens to be the husband of supermodel Cindy Crawford, have unveiled a new brand of tequila with the claim, a drink is so powerful, it’ll hook you up with another man’s wife!

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OMG!: The Oscar-winning actor and his BFF Rande are launching a new brand of Tequila called Casamigos, and their lady loves have joined them in a minute-long film to introduce their new adventure. Thea Andrews, co-host of “omg! Insider” interviewed Clooney, gave our very own Kristen Aldridge the deets on what he said, and even let us see an exclusive clip. Check out the sneak peek of the video that you can only see right here on “omg! Insider Update!” To see the entire flick, be sure to tune in to “omg! Insider” tonight and come back here for our next “Update.”

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PEOPLE Sexiest Man Alive IS… Mark Harmon

Channing Tatum joins an elite list of Hollywood gents, landing People’s Sexiest Man Alive! cover. By any measurement this is a coveted placement, but make no mistake about it, this cover is bought and paid for, and is certainly part of an even bigger push about to happen for Tatum, over the next few months. It also indicates that the actor has some healthy backing at this point in his young career, which really is the name of the game in Hollywood.

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George Clooney Suing Paps Over Underage Photos

George Clooney

George Clooney, the world’s most charming man, is set to sue the pesky paparazzi over in Italy.  According to Clooney, some photographers scaled the walls of his Italian mansion and, using long lens, took shots of underage girls changing. Clooney is now on a warpath to take those paps down.

George told TMZ: “We’re suing two magazines AND a photographer. I don’t know about the law in the United States but in Italy it’s illegal for photographers to climb over my wall and to take long lens pictures of a 13-year-old girl in her bedroom.”

I must say that I agree with George here.  It’s really wrong to illegally penetrate a celebrity’s property for photos but it’s even worse to not have knowledge of the people you’re shooting.  If the photographers would have taken their jobs seriously and figured out they were snapping photos of underage girls none of this would have happened.  We’ll see what the Italian courts decide.

George Clooney And Obama Hang Out

“I don’t think people should be going there and coming back and saying how it affected them. I think somehow we should all know that these people are hanging on by the skin of their teeth,” commented Mr. Clooney to CNN’s Larry King via satellite from the front lawn of the White House.”

Perez reports:

On Monday morning, A+ list actor George Clooney was invited to the White House to discuss the humanitarian crisis in Darfur with President Barack Obama.

George is a U.N. Messenger of Peace and he reportedly asked the president to appoint a full-time, White House regional envoy.

He also called for China to set aside its business interests in the region and pressure Sudan to prevent atrocities.

Peacemaker George said he also told the president of his visit to camps in Chad where 250,000 Darfur refugees live.