Storage Wars Auctioneer In GRAVE CONDITION After Double Whammy

Doctors say Storage Wars auctioneer Dan Dotson, only has a slight chance of survival and was rushed to a hospital in Palm Springs after suffering a double brain aneurysm.

Dotson was stricken with an aneurysm behind the eye and another in his neck the size of an apricot. He was given a 4%-20% chance of survival but has since undergone successful surgery.

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Dotson’s wife Laura Dotson told TMZ that Dan woke Monday morning around 1 AM asking weird questions in his sleep and when he got up again around 7:30 AM things took a turn for the worse. Continue reading

CAKE Maker Hears ”CAT” Instead Of ”CAP” Hilarity Ensues

The good thing about a baker’s mistake is that you can eat all of the evidence. But the BEST thing is when you can turn it into a story like this one. Adorably proud mom Carol Gambrel wanted to celebrate her daughter Laura’s college graduation, so she ordered a “face cake” and asked if they’d draw “a little cap” on Laura’s head. But the baker heard the wrong consonant, resulting in the most hilarious mixup this side of a sitcom: Laura was instead given a little cat instead. “When I went to pick it up at the store, I could not stop laughing,” Carol said. “I told them not to scrape it off.” Excellent call, mom! [Source] Continue reading

George W Bush Best Friend First Dog Barney Dies

By request, George W. Bush’s full statement on the lost of his “pal” first dog, Barney.

Barney_270x359(President Bush painted this oil himself.)

Laura and I are sad to announce that our Scottish Terrier, Barney, has passed away. The little fellow had been suffering from lymphoma and after twelve and a half years of life, his body could not fight off the illness.

Barney and I enjoyed the outdoors. He loved to accompany me when I fished for bass at the ranch. He was a fierce armadillo hunter. At Camp David, his favorite activity was chasing golf balls on the chipping green.

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Barney guarded the South Lawn entrance of the White House as if he were a Secret Service agent. He wandered the halls of the West Wing looking for treats from his many friends. He starred in Barney Cam and gave the American people Christmas tours of the White House. Barney greeted Queens, Heads of State, and Prime Ministers. He was always polite and never jumped in their laps.

Barney was by my side during our eight years in the White House. He never discussed politics and was always a faithful friend. Laura and I will miss our pal.