The Charlie ‘Sheenisms’ Translation Guide Right Here!

Lisa Mason Lee - March 3, 2011

If you’re a little late on the amazing Charlie ‘Sheenisms‘, here’s a little starter guide to get you in the swing of his slang. Good luck grasshopper. Read, use and prosper!

Charlie Sheen does the Sunday Comics

Image by susie.c via Flickr

The Charlie Sheenisms Translation Book: Beginner’s Guide

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WINNING

Definition: The end goal of Charlie Sheen’s life philosophy.
Usage: “The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning,” “Just winning every second,” “Winning, anyone?” “Duh, winning!”

BI-WINNING

Definition: Winning on the ultimate level.
Usage: I’m not bi-polar, “I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.”

WEARING A GOLDEN SOMBRERO

Definition: Getting divorced four times in a row (kind of the opposite of a hat trick).
Usage: “I tried marriage. I’m 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer — I believe in numbers. I’m not going 0 for 4. I’m not wearing a golden sombrero.”

TIGER BLOOD

Definition: What runs through Sheen’s veins, making him all-powerful.
Usage: “AA was written for normal people. People that don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA,” “[I survived drug addiction] because I’m me. I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.”

SOBER VALLEY LODGE

Definition: The Beverly Hills home where Sheen claims he’s healed himself “with the power of my mind.”
Usage: “We couldn’t really call it rehab because we didn’t have a license to operate one, so it was a crisis management center that we labeled the Sober Valley Lodge. … Its primary client achieved radical success.”

THE GODDESSES

Definition: Admirable women whom one may look up to.
Usage: “The goddesses are free to do what they do in my house.”… “No [I don’t sleep with both goddesses in my bed] because we are adults and we realize that three in a bed is like, we are all not seven.”

THE WEDGE

Definition: Sheen’s nickname for himself, based on his preferred position between his two blonde 24-year-old girlfriends, a.k.a. “the goddesses.”
Usage: “It’s a wedge. Boom. You form a wedge to make room for the guy carrying the ball.”

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