Charlie Sheen highlights from episode 3 ofTorpedeos of Truth.
Charlie just getting, going, gone: “Now that I have your lazy f-cking attention, world, sit back and rejoice for the mouth of a messiah, the Count of Calabasas, the f-cking warlock of your jealous face sits before you, undigested hummus, trading real estate for this fire dance.”
Charlie on the past women in his life: “Oh how they once begged to attend my perfect banquet in the nude, now they only beg- for the keys to my gold.”
On his guest list for Charlie’s War: “Their names slightly altered to keep their stench from polluting my magic daiquiri.”
Sheen’s Hitlist:
Less-Than Les Goonves: “The promise of getting something yet receiving nothing. In vitro side all the shining pool boys rejoice and line the block around your house. SIZZLE.LOSING.BYE”
Bruce:
“Wow it must really suck being you right now. The pulp of fiction suits you well. Since childhood short, weak, thick glasses, never seen by a goddess, only owned by a bully like a bitch. Sizzle, losing, bye.
Chuck:
“Can you smell your mother’s tears from some distant memory as she scattered her pathetic creation asking all around her why this feeble abortion survived.
VERONA, MS. (THECOUNT) — A woman was shot and killed and a man died of…
DUBLIN, OH. (THECOUNT) — A former Ohio State All-American offensive lineman was sentenced Wednesday to…
JACKSONVILLE, FL. (THECOUNT) — Three months after a 27-year-old woman burned to death inside her…
HOLCOMB, Kan. (THECOUNT) — A southwest Kansas man was killed Tuesday night when his motorcycle…
YONKERS, N.Y. (THECOUNT) — Chip Taylor, the Grammy-nominated songwriter behind two of the most enduring…
NATIONAL (THECOUNT) — If it seems like fireballs are lighting up the sky every few…