Al Gore Possibly The Coolest Guy Ever

Being single is totally awesome, especially if you’re former Vice President Al Gore. After his 40 year marriage came to an end, Gore, 62, is enjoying a resurgence of music in his life that had been forbidden by his Ex, Tipper for more that two decades.

“For the first time in decades, I get to play the kind of music I like without someone nagging me about what a bad influence it is,” said Gore, “And I get to crank it up as loud as I want.” What Gore is cranking up is heavy metal music from the likes of Quiet Riot, Mötley Crüe and W.A.S.P.

“It sucked because we always had to listen to garbage like Carly Simon and Lyle Lovett all the time,” Gore said, “That stuff is lame, man. If it doesn’t have big balls and bigger riffs, get it out of my stereo! and these guys [W.A.S.P.] are kicking some serious ass,” added the Noble Peace prize Winner, “Check out this guitar break coming up—it’s nasty.”

Tipper was the founder of Parents Music Resource Center, and since its inception in 1985, Gore was forbidden from listening to the music he truly loved, however, he now admits that Tipper’s crusade was “total bullcrap,” Gore continued, “I can’t believe I wasted half my life helping Tipper put warning labels on this stuff when I could have been seeing these guys do their thing live.”

Music is not the only thing Gore is catching up on, he will also be doing all nighters watching previously banned movies like Purple Rain, Porky’s, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Red Dawn, and The Terminator.

“Why would I need Tipper when I’ve got all this?” Gore said pointing to stacks of VHS tape and compact discs, “I’ll tell you one thing: If she thinks I miss her, then she’s out of her mind, because I don’t. I’m living the dream here, my friend. I’m not lonely at all.”