We got our hands on this text directly from the Christmas Card Oprah sent out this year! As they say “Many a true thing is said in jest!”. I think this is beyond weird, you read it and tell us what you think…
Dear subjects,
|
Advertisement |
I am queen of the world.
It has, obviously, been a big year for me. I was the first celebrity to endorse Barack Obama for president. He didn’t need anyone else. Though I haven’t been officially named to a cabinet post, I can assure you that I will play a major role in how this country is run from now on.
And I should. Let’s face it, no one is better qualified. I don’t even need a last name. I don’t even need a full first name. I am O. Hear me roar.
My first act as unofficial leader of the free world will be to nationalize U.S. automakers and appropriate free cars for those who subscribe to my magazine.
I then will move the capitol to Chicago. It’s closer to my studio. Dr. Phil and that guy who embarrassed me with the book about going to rehab will immediately be deported. I’ll drop them off both in Texas, sell it back to Mexico, then spend the money on personal trainers. And bon bons.
My book club will become nationalized as well, via executive order, requiring a vast budget and excessive government salaries. Most of the American midwest be be combined and re-named Oprahslovakia. There aer too many states, anyway. Oh, and I’d like a record deal. And my own chain of yogure shops. And maybe to have my face on some money.
Send your checks to the return address on the card. I’ll remember it.
— O
OK so maybe this is someone’s idea of a joke, even if it is, it’s pretty funny and on the money.