Mtv reports that Lohan has officially split from her partner, Samantha Ronson, as of Monday. No wonder why the Earth has been soo rampant with catastrophic events as of late. The Pope was seen huttled over in despair ( reps for the Pope could not confirm this). Who knew secretly that the quakes were simply a prophetic event meant to warn of worse events to come…today the world is a dark, empty place. We will wait patiently for this great wrong to be rectified.

Hillary Swank couldn't do it better...the loss of Ronson will be mourned