Lindsay Lohan On A Stick-Yummy!

I dont know about all of you, but resembling an alien bobblehead is the exact look I am going for. Well, me and Lindsay Lohan that is. Crazy girl copying me and shiz.

Just the other day she followed me into Target and we each bought the same kool aid tanning lotion “Orange U Glad”. I’m still trying to figure out how her and Samantha Ronson are making love these days. Sticks and bones and tufts of hair- sounds like a Survivor contest to me. Campfire anyone? Does this look like a crotch fire Jeff Probst? (Damn I have not watched that show in ages so I had to look up Jeff’s name!). Pretty soon they are going to look like two gremlins who sat in water overnight.

Look I think Lindsay is hot don’t get me wrong the problem is she says she’s eating Big Macs so she isn’t skinny. If I ate one Big Mac a week I’d be skinny too. Something aint right. Just pick up some cheese sticks, taquitos and ice cream from Trader Joe’s and eat up. Taquitos are amazing and each one has the caloric value of a small Greek child.

I love how celebrities say “Don’t talk about me because I’m fine” as they trip on their own proturding knee bones and crumble into dust in Queen Latifa’s arms. Tales From The Crypt should be her new movie. Starring the crazy DJ sidekick “Samantha” who spins Thriller 24/7.