FINKE DESTROYS OSCAR ‘Jerry Lewis Telethon Circa 1966′

February 24, 2013

Editor-in-Chief of DeadLine.com, Nikki Finke, is live-snarking the Oscars and trust me, the snarking is way better than the actual show… At one point Finke compares the broadcast, hosted by Seth McFarland, to the Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy Telethon, circa 1966… Here are some highlights!

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I don’t recall ever seeing the winners in the non-marquee category look more terrified of the time limit for speeches. What the hell did the Academy threaten? (“No Oscar Swag Bag for you!”)
John Wilkes Booth and Kardashian jokes? Please, somebody, untie Seth’s writers who must be kidnapped in a dark closet somewhere in the building.
Ben Affleck lets slip the truth. “Maybe you can turn it around,” he tells MacFarlane about how bad the show really is.
So far this feels like the Jerry Lewis MDA telethon. Circa 1966.
The show already is running 3 minutes behind. No wonder Bob Iger looks like
Tonight is so embarassing that they need to make Brian Grazer the permanent producer of the Oscars. He saved the show once, he can do it again. Just give Billy Crystal another facelift. Shameless plug now for the producers’ musical film Chicago during this tribute to the last decade of musical films. But, seriously, wasn’t this the worst decade for musical films ever? I mean, Hairspray?
Can Russell Crowe actually hear himself croaking … um, er, singing?
“Oh. We’re up to the gay part of the show,” Bill Maher says via Twitter.
It’s been 90 minutes and I’m still waiting for the show to kick into gear. Any gear.
My sources say the mood inside the Dolby Theatre has turned ugly. “The audience is fed up with this self-promoting musicals sequence. Emails galore asking: ‘WTF’”?
Just heard there was a burst bathroom pipe in the Dolby Theatre lobby before the ceremony started. Officials redirected guests to elevators to get them inside. No wonder this year’s Oscars stink.

Wow! Adele’s Skyfall performance kinda sucked.

I just received an email from inside the Dolby explaining that Ben Affleck was furious about the Gigli reference – which explains the looks-that-kill he shot MacFarlane onstage.